In an exclusive interview with PokerScout, Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne reveals Jose Mourinho’s wish and urges Spurs to find a Harry Kane replacement.
The ex-England international also explains why ANYBODY could manage England in a poke at players and ‘crap football’ under Gareth Southgate.
Q: Obviously we’re filming in Twickenham, you mentioned earlier that you played a bit of rugby before..
A: Yeah, it was a charity game, and I was scrum half, and we’d just started, it was only five minutes into the game, and it was on a Sunday, and I’d just played for Middlesbrough on the Saturday. I tried to dummy this guy. He hit me. God almighty. He broke three ribs of mine. So I went to training on the Monday, I said to Brian Robson, ‘I don’t think I’m training today, I broke my ribs’, he said, ‘how did you do that? You didn’t do it on Saturday’. I told him what happened and he went mad and dropped me the next game…but I couldn’t play anyway because my ribs were broken. I was in agony, six weeks it took to recover!
Q: Speaking of Newcastle now, they’ve finally won a trophy. Where did you watch the game?
A: I watched it and I’m so glad for them because it’s been about 70 years! It was funny when the commentator said, ‘well (Alan) Shearer won nothing, (Kevin) Keegan won nothing, Chris Waddle won nothing, Peter Beardsley won nothing, Gascoigne won nothing.’
Well I was 18, I was in a team that was crap, and I did well to keep them up! I was grateful, I’m pleased for Eddie Howe because Newcastle, every weekend when they play at home it’s like a cup final anyway. Well that guy Isak, he’s a great player, he didn’t care when he scored that goal, it was like nothing to him.
So we’ve got a good squad, Eddie is doing well and constantly he’s not had much money to spend. Not the big teams, so good on Eddie and good on the team, and the fans must have been loving it. You weren’t there though, but where did you watch it? I just watched it sitting in the house, because I’d just come from hospital, because I was getting all the tests done. Everything went well, and then I just went home and just watched it on TV and all I had to do was just rest. So, I did rest for a couple of weeks, but I’m good. I just want to be busy all the time. I’m a nightmare!
Q: What about Lewis Miley? They’re saying he’s the best player to come out of the Newcastle Academy since yourself. Only 18, isn’t he?
A: He’s only 18, you know, so he’s got a great bright future ahead of him. The thing is though, with young kids like that, and you’ve got the likes of Arsenal, Chelsea, Man City, willing to spend millions on players, So Newcastle have got to make sure they look after them well because it won’t be long before big teams will be coming in and offering like millions for him. I was at Newcastle and I was on 25 quid a week playing against Man United and Liverpool. And then I got offer of £1,500 at Tottenham for the first year and I thought that was really good. Jack Charlton told me I wasn’t going anywhere, then he left the club so I shot off quickly. Yeah. But, uh, yeah. So, you know, like sometimes, you know.
It all depends whether he’s (Lewis Miley) happy, but Newcastle are going places. They need to get him on a long term contract, tie him down and give him a good deal. Yeah, but long term contracts don’t make a difference anymore, because if a player wants to leave and someone comes in with £100million, Newcastle will take the money and he can leave. But they’ve had a great win in the League Cup and if they can get in the Champions League or the Europa League, good on them.
Q: Dan Burn, what a week for him, called up for the England squad, scored a goal in the cup final.
A: Yeah, that’s right, he’s done very well getting called up for England, because I remember when Terry Venables pulled us in the office, he said ‘we’ve got bad news for you, you haven’t made the under 21 squad’, and I said, ‘that’s a joke, I’m playing brilliantly’, but then he said,‘ ‘but you’ve made the full squad!’ And honestly, I remember just meeting Tony Cottee. We had five minutes to go against Denmark. I said, ‘God, we’re playing for England now. We’re about to go on. I’m so excited.’ Playing with David Seaman. Then the second game was 20 minutes to go, I went on and scored against Albania. So the feeling was fantastic, but to put that shirt on is one incredible feeling. I was fortunate that Bobby Robson and Terry Venables helped me you know.
Q: What was that moment like scoring your first goal for England against Albania?
A: That was fantastic because when you score, I didn’t know where to turn because I was thinking about my celebration in the changing room before, but I didn’t do it. I didn’t know which way to run. So I ran to the other corner, which I wish I’d have turned and ran back to the manager to thank him for playing me. But it was fantastic to score that first goal for England, there was no better feeling in the world. And then afterwards you go back to your club on a Monday and all the players are patting you on the back and saying well done.
Q: And now with England appointing Thomas Tuchel, a German, as the manager, what do you think about that? Do you think if England do win the World Cup next year, it’ll be kind of tainted?
A: We’ve had so many foreign managers you know. But what English manager can we have? We’ve just had one, Carsley and he didn’t want the job. And Eddie Howe could have had it, but he’s alright where he is. We’ll have to see. But it doesn’t make any difference what manager we have. My next door neighbour could be the England manager. It’s the players on the pitch who have got to perform. When I got picked by Bobby Robson, I wanted to play for him. He was giving me the chance to play for my country. So whoever plays for them has got to do their best, because it’s not easy being an England manager. Because once your time’s up, your time’s up and the fans will let you know, so good luck to them to be fair.
Q: So it doesn’t matter to you that the manager’s German?
A: Well, Germany, I don’t know, I mean I got beat on penalties there twice. That was funny, that penalty thing, because I said to Gareth Southgate, ‘what happened to you? I scored my penalty and ended up in rehab. You missed yours, and you get the England manager’s job and 30 grand pizza advert.’ But yeah, with the German manager, you’ve got to give him a chance. It was nice to have an England manager, but it’s not the manager who counts, it’s the players.
Q: Who’s your favourite roommate throughout the course of your England career or your club career?
A: Tottenham, was Paul Stewart. We were nuts together. Paul Stewart at Tottenham. In England it was Chris Waddle. We had so much fun, especially in the World Cup. Me and him used to wake up early. Because at night time we were given a bar of chocolate. So I used to wait until 12 o’clock and say, Chris, hold on. And all the players were given bars of chocolate. It was 12 o’clock and he would sleep. And I used to sneak in the rooms and pinch them. Until I got caught by Terry Butcher and Chris Woods. Chris Woods bashed me back there and I flew across the corridor. But me and Chris Waddle would be up at 6 o’clock, banging the music and then everyone would shout ‘shut up Gazza, get that f**king radio off.’ But me and Chris had such a laugh.
Q: Speaking of Spurs, what do you think’s gone wrong with them? I mean, are you surprised that Ange is still in the job? How’s he not being sacked by now?
A: He’s hanging in there. But who can take his place? They’ve had quite a few managers and they’re not buying anybody. They didn’t really replace Harry Kane. But I don’t know, they just seem to have everything on a plate. The training ground is just phenomenal. They spent about a billion pound on that. They’ve got it all on a plate for them. So, it’s a shame. The fans are fantastic. And I think they’ve just got to start buying. The fans are getting a bit restless, aren’t they? They’re having a go at Daniel Levy. They’re protesting. Yeah, well, it’s not Levy who owns it. The owner lives in Barbados (ENIC). They just haven’t had the season they wanted. But if you want to be the best, you’ve got to buy the best and they always just seem to be relying on Son, which is tough for them. Yeah, it’d be nice for them to win the Europa League for the fans as well, they deserve it. We’ve got Man United in the Europa League as well. We could have an all English final. Yeah, it’d be good. Man United would be decent. Who’d your money be on? I try not to watch football because even at my age now, I still miss it. And if I see a player not trying hard enough with the money they’re on, it winds me up. I’ll have to turn the TV over for a bit. But it’d be good to have an all English final, for the fans as well.
Q: We spoke about Marcus Rashford before, and you said that maybe he needs a fresh start somewhere. He’s gone on loan to Aston Villa now.
A: He’s playing well there. I heard he might be going to Real Madrid. He’ll have had more moves than a chess player! His attitude is just wanting to play football, and he seems like he’s playing with a smile on his face, but he seems to be all right at Aston Villa. Aston Villa is a magnificent club and maybe he’s just got to be happy playing. Football’s his life and change of scenery and different fans, but he seems to be doing all right. I like him as a player.
Q: Do you think Jack Grealish needs a change of scenery? Because he’s not really getting in the City team..
A: Yeah, I think so. He’s quality. I like Jack. He’s one of my favourite England players, along with Phil Foden. Jack, he’s a good lad.
Q: In terms of the England team at the moment though, do you think we’re missing a bit of kind of spark and a bit of creativity?
A: They’re passing it too much. I don’t like it because the goalkeeper seems to have more touches than f**king anybody else. They just keep playing back and forward and sideways. Crap football, I don’t like it. You know, we never look forward. Like Harry Kane, sometimes you see him with the ball at centre half. Doing cross field passes, he shouldn’t be there. Like Terry Vennables always used to tell Lineker he couldn’t go past the half-way line. I think England just need to attack more. I mean if Foden goes for it. Grealish goes for it. I’d just give Rashford a few more games as well.
Q: Did you watch the Old Firm between Rangers and Celtic?
A: It was a good win for Rangers, and it was good for the manager Barry Ferguson. I remember him asking me for the end of a cigarette once Barry. He’s a great guy and he should get the job permanently ’cause he is Rangers through and through and he’s got potential to be a great manager at Ibrox. Good luck to him because I like Barry, he’s a good guy.
Q: Do you think Scottish football is becoming a bit too predictable?
A: Well, it’s always been the same since I went and played there, just the two top teams, you know. But it is hard and they think it’s easy. But when you’re playing for Rangers, they expect you to win every f**king game. And it’s not just by one goal, it’s by three or four, I’ve been there, tried it. And it can be tough. If a player is playing for Kilmarnock and wants to play for Rangers, when they play against Rangers, they’re going to f**king give it their best.
So you have that when you’re up against, when you’re playing in the midfield, you got a lot of people wanting to f**king challenge you. Unfortunately for me, I just battered all of them blindfolded.
Q: But you spoke before, I think you said that Vinnie Jones was the hardest player you ever, ever kind of came across.
A: No, it was a Millwall player, he kicked us in the warm up. He just drove me nuts, he was nuts, he wanted to challenge me. But we’re good friends now me and Terry Hurlock. He was just warming up and he came up and just studs us in the thigh. And he said, ‘that’s before kick off, don’t take the piss out of me.’ I said, ‘okay, I won’t’. Which I didn’t, to be fair. He was tough.
Q: How do you feel about the crazy amount of money being spent on transfers and wages today?
A: I can’t believe it. I remember when I went for 2.2 million and then and then Shearer (Alan Shearer) went for 15 million and then next thing you know, someone is going for 80 million. Now it’s like it’s nothing to buy a player for 100 million. It just shows how much money these football teams have. I’m told that on shirts alone, Manchester United makes around 680 million a year.
Q: What’s the most ridiculous thing you bought with your football wages?
A: A f***ing house and a divorce! Yeah, I’ve bought a few bad things. 19 years ago, it was cocaine. I tried it and remember going home and thinking “f**king hell what have I done, my dad’s going to go off” I went to the window, and looked in the garden and I went “oh f**k…” 9 Harley Davidson’s. So I rang the people who sold me them up and said “Take them back” and they wouldn’t take them. I just gave them away to friends in the end. I hadn’t even passed my test.
Q: If you were going to be stranded on a deserted island with one former teammate, who would you want it to be/not want it to be?
A: John Moncur, Tottenham. We just have a laugh together. I remember one time we went to the zoo once and I had bought these brand new boots, and it was red hot and me and him were sitting on the grass having a pint. I took my boots off (which I’d paid a few hundred quid for) and told John I was just going to have a look at the monkey. As I’m coming back I think “where’s my f***ing boot?” and I looked into the cage, and there was a f***ing tiger with my boot in its mouth, rattling it about and I went “you b***ard!”… So I just threw the other one in. The other accident at the zoo was in Scotland when Newcastle had won the tournament. I went to this zoo and there was this huge f***ing gorilla. I got some mustard, put it on a biscuit and threw it in for it. It ate it, went f***ing nuts banging on its chest, and all the little chimps were just f***ing launching at us, so we did a runner”
Q: Do you think there’s too much football on TV nowadays?
A: Yeah. It’s on everyday and every night now – it’s too much. Back in the day, you looked forward to watching a match and you have it on Match of the Day on a Sunday, of course. But now you’ve got a game on TV every night–especially with things like Sky but there’s now even more football channels where you can watch any game in the world 24/7 which is not good for the fans but as long as they’re still turning up to watch games. When I was in Italy, it was only on after the game or in newspapers. They had six newspapers where all they talked about was football–nothing else.
Q: Do you think now that Southgate is done with England, do you think he will come and manage Man United?
A: He will eventually, I think he’s just having some time out right now. I can see him getting the Man United job, or even Tottenham. The options will be there and deals are done before they’re announced. I remember before I moved to Tottenham, my deal was done a year before I went there. So he’ll already know what positions are up for him. It was the same with my Lazio deal. That deal happened when I went to visit Chris Waddle in Marseille. I knew I was going to Lazio 6 months beforehand.
Q: Do you think Trent Alexander-Arnold could be a good fit at Real Madrid if he went there?
A: Yeah, Trent [Alexander-Arnold] would definitely be a good fit. I mean, look at what [Jude] Bellingham’s done at Real Madrid. You see him play for England, I watched him and people were raving about him. He scored in the first game of the Euros and after that, he’s non-existent. And then I saw him playing for Real Madrid and he was outstanding.
Q: Did you see the Rangers against Galatasaray?
A: I didn’t go to see it because when the Rangers played Galatasaray, Graham Souness was mad. He went in the middle of the pitch with a flag and I was thinking f****ing hell. But no, I didn’t see it. When I was in Turkey for England, they were throwing money at me when I was going down the tunnel and shouting “f**k you Gaz”.(when asked about his experience playing in Turkey) I got studded and a guy kicked me. It went through my shin pad and I needed stitches. I got stitched up and ran back onto the pitch… then scored.
Q: Have you met Jose Mourinho?
A: Once, at a Chelsea vs Everton game. I went to watch the game and he said “I wish I’d have signed you, I would’ve loved to have been your manager.” He’s a great guy and some manager, considering he started as a translator. He’s achieved so much. (After being prompted on what it takes to be a good manager) It doesn’t matter how good of a manager you are, you’ve got to have the right players too. Look at Fergie and what he’s done for that team (Man United). They won everything and then the next manager f**k all, next manager f**k all. Who wants to follow Fergie?
Q: Do you think they should renovate Old Trafford or build a new one?
A: Build a new one. They’ve got the money. It’s a change, you know?
Q: What is the most epic game you remember playing in?
A: There’s been quite a few. I remember the quarter finals when we were playing Portsmouth. In the run up to the game, I’d played 15 rounds of squash with John Moncur and injured my groin from that. I still played of course and scored two goals which I was happy with and it got us through, but I was confronted by Terry Venables later in the week with “I know you played squash you b***ard!”
(After being prompted on how many injuries he’s been through) Yeah, I ended up with a double hernia after that. It’s ok though – I’m used to it.
Q: Are footballers too soft compared to your era?
A: Yes, some of them are. I hate it when they go down and stay down for a bit, only to then jump up and run back. It’s a f***ing joke. They’re the kind of players that should get the boot.
(Prompted about delaying restarts. Do you think refs are too hyper critical these days?) Well, that’s the board. It’s a farce isn’t it, I don’t know why we’ve got referees anymore when everyone just goes off of VAR. You’ve got two f***king linesmen, the referee and three f***ing guys in the studio now.
Q: What are you going to get up to now? Do you have any trips planned?
A: No I’ve just these venues this week left and then I want to chill out and do a bit of fly fishing. I usually go fishing at Dever Springs because they had big fish down there. That’s shut now, so I go to Thornton Bridge. It costs me 95 quid but I love fly fishing – it’s the only sport that can take my mind off of everything. I only need to catch about four fish anyway before I get bored and go home for dinner. I did spear fishing in Corfu once and caught a squid… I traded it in for a burger. I’m still busy. I have a few more venues next month. I have a book deal being arranged, and potentially a documentary or six part drama series about my life being produced. I have a lot to look forward to, which is great because I get bored so f***ing quickly.”